a soul drifted out of my life today, as quietly as she’s always been. i think of her quite often as her unassuming mannerisms have always accompanied me and remained a constant reminder of true strength. while the world saw her as a meek and mild japanese woman, i saw someone who’s survived grief, illnesses, and death of those closest to her. she carried herself with a quiet dignity, and from her, i learned sometimes not saying something achieves more than acutally saying it. i have no method of communication with her…we don’t speak the same language, and can only understand very little of the words we do speak to each other. yet…i feel her as deeply as i would someone i’ve shared soul shattering conversations with.
in a way she had been preparing me for this day. years ago, she gave me a beautiful pendant. it was a simple design…two pearls interlocked with a ruby on the clasp. it was something she designed, drawn, and had it made especially for me. the simplicity belied the beauty of it…and reminded me so much of her. through translation, she told me that while she may not always be here, she wants me to always remember her in the good times…as someone who loved me, cared for me, and held me in her heart.
even as cancer ravaged her body, it never dimmed her sense of humor, nor her outlook on life. through her own trials, she continued to put others first because it was just her way.
she’s gone now and no longer hurting. i suppose that’s what i should be truly thankful for. i want to celebrate her life, more than mourn her death…but find myself unable to right now. maybe tomorrow…
i loved her and will always know she loved me. i’ll miss you yi-po.
~ciao