me…i’ve never thought i’d amount to much. despite all the expectations, i was content to not be ordinary…but not to be extraordinary either. being extraordinary meant that i was going to stand out…i never wanted to stand out, only to fit in. i remember going to school…hoping no one will notice me, and that i can just be like everyone else.
i’m not sure what’s making me think of it…i often remember elementary school, where i prayed to wake up and be accepted. through middle school where i tried even harder, gave up myself and hoped that they would see me as one of them…even through highschool, where i finally found my niche of friends.
i have 5 friends, who i would trust with my life, no questions asked…and yet, i watch them when we’re all together, and wonder whether they really like me or just hangs out with me because i’m someone who was sort of always there…i was always the awkard one…though i don’t know whether they’ve ever noticed.
i know they love me…or they wouldn’t put up with my bull…but my confidence level just wanes unexpectedly…maybe i’ll never feel like i fully fit in…*shrug*
whatever
~ciao