Easter, 2003.
she walked into my life. rather…i walked into hers.
the day was slightly cloudy…and cool.
i remember driving the span on the turnpike…then on local… when i arrived, i took a mental note of the fluttering in my stomach…chalking it up to the usual jitters of meeting new people, i accepted the invitation into the house.
down the darken stairs, pass the glowing tank…decending into a different world. i remember music, i remember incense, i remember thinking how cozy the apt was.
then i met her.
a pair of beautiful eyes, coupled with a smile that lit up the room. i’ve never been at such a complete loss for words, and yet i was on that day. i always scoffed at the idea of love at first sight…but i figured it out that day. it wasn’t lust, it wasn’t about sex…it was about knowing that you’ve just found the person you’re meant to be wtih for the rest of your natural existence. it feels as if you were lost all this time…and you’ve just found your way home. home, was wherever she was.
for days afterwards, i contemplated my feelings on that day. how can i feel the way i do. nevermind her situation, or my involvement with someone else. but what was it about her that made me feel like i’m all of a sudden home…that i’m all of a sudden whole… denial was out of the question… now that i know i found the person i’m destined for, how can i stay away.
do you believe in different lifetimes…i now do. what i felt and what i feel today still…couldn’t possibly be just the instant attraction…it runs deeper than any emotions i’ve felt. it surpasses what i felt for anyone. with a look, a smile, it was as if a distant memory was triggered…that this smile…this look so familiar and yet not of this lifetime…was what i was searching for but never found. this emotion i felt for a girl i just met…surpasses time and dimension. i knew her…the instant we locked eyes, i knew her love, hurt, strength, aspirations, failures…and i loved all of them…in that one instant.
so against difficult odds, i am now in her embrace. while i regret the pain we’ve caused our now ex’s by our actions, i wish them all a chance to experience what i felt that day…
everyone’s been told true love is hard to find…it comes but once in a lifetime. i’ve found mine…have you?
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for a while now i’ve wanted to formulate into words what i felt for alexis that instant i saw her…unfortunately, words fail me when it comes to this…so this is the best i can come up with…i’m sure i’ll be editing this time and time agian until i feel that it’s adequate. or maybe it’ll never be adequate because of what we have…
steph
