July 24th, 2003
after months of trial and tribulation, this chinky has finally closed on her apartment…so congrats to me…*grin*
i think i might have signed away my first born son to the attorney as well…but i have to read through the fine prints of all the stuff i signed to be sure of that…for that matter, i may have signed away my soul to the devil…*thinks about this* nah…that belongs to someone else already…
so, the madness has begun…on friday i’ve got the cable guy, the contractor, and the alarm guy all coming at the same time…good news is i’ll get everything out of the way…bad news is, they’re all going to be there at the same damn time!!
so now, it’s on to painting, cleaning, painting, cleaning…and did i mention, more cleaning?
well, that’s all for now…ttyl everyone…
pssst…alexis? wo ai ni…
steph
July 16th, 2003
well, after much discussion amongst parties, i believe everythign has been settled as far as anonymonity goes…you know, i can never spell that word right…anyhoo…nothing much is going on here…going full speed ahead with the apartment. dropped off tiles for the contractor yesterday…funny thing, the first thing he said after seeing the tiles is “fuck”…so i hope he doesn’t fuck them up…cause they’re damn nice tiles that cost a bundle. my beautiful artist is also teeming with ideas for decor of the place…told her she has full reign…god knows i have no decorating talent. so the next step would be to fix up the kitchen and hopefully everything will be good then…well, at least i hope…just to get started…but i’ve heard it’s a common thing that when you buy a house, you’re broke for the first few months…so i think i’m right on schedule with that…
other from that…let’s see…oh, we’ve bought our share of household items already…i swear we bought out pier1 the other day…but it was a good sale…and one must take advantage of a good sale…
nothing much else…yesterday was kinda quiet…we went to a park in edgewater and just walked around and hung out…it was nice…right under the GWB…we drove around the park and ended up in a whole new spot…so we found a new route to go around in…we’ll be doing that a lot i suppose…okay…enough babbling…
July 14th, 2003
con·sid·er·ation -
1 : continuous and careful thought
2 a : a matter weighed or taken into account when formulating an opinion or plan b : a taking into account
3 : thoughtful and sympathetic regard
4 : an opinion obtained by reflection
*****
and now that we’ve defined this word…let’s talk about what consideration really means…
consideration means practice what you preach…
consideration means think about how the other person would feel before you say anything
consideration means not to air your dirty laundry in a public forum…
having said that…i’d like to clear the air about a few things…
…for those of us who are involved in this relationship…it’s something that was agreed upon between consenting adults. nobody twisted arms, put a gun to vital organs…so in that respect, get over it. no one’s at fault…problems arise in a long term relationship. if you’re blinded to it, then it’s no one’s fault but your own. what happened in the relationship had nothing to do with what happened subsequent…so again i say to that…get over it. you fucked up, you deal with the consequences. cheating is cheating.
okay, let’s go beyond that…about what i write…what i write is for public consumption…if you don’t like what i write, dont’ read it…if it becomes too personal, too painful…dont’ read it…i’m not asking anyone to read this…i only care that the person i’m writing to understands.
i understand that to get to where i am right now, there are casualties…and i truly apologize for those involved and was hurt…but you know what, life goes on…i apologize to my exgf of what i did…but i submit to you…would you rather i have cheated then broke it off?
so you want to air dirty laundry, let’s play…name the forum…
the internet affords us anonymity so real names do not have to be used…but apparently that concept is lost on certain people…focus on the big picture here people…you want to gripe, go ahead…no one is stopping you…but for fuck sakes…use your brain…common sense…don’t be dumb…there will be people to cloud judgements but you realize who you are…
this may be fueling the fire of a melodrama that’s happening elsewhere…and for those who are lost…dont’ worry about it…it’s a long story…pull up a chair and i’m sure someone will tell you…
steph
July 14th, 2003
*ring*
*ring*
*ring*
Thank you for calling heaven.
-For english press 1
-Para servicio en espanol, oprima el numero 2
-for all other languages, press 3
*tone*
Please select one of the following options:
-press 1 for request
-press 2 for thanksgiving
-press 3 for complaints
-press 4 for all others
*tone*
-I am sorry, all our angels and saints are busy helping other sinners right now. however, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. please stay on the line…
*hold music*
If you would like to speak to:
-god, press 1
-jesus, press 2
-holy spirit, press 3
*main menu*
To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven, press 5, then enter the social security number followed by the # sign…if you should receive a negative response, please hang up, and dial area code 666
*back to the main menu*
-for reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the the numbers 3-1-6
-for answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets, pleas ewait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics…
*more tones*
i’m sorry, our comptuers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and call again tomorrow.
July 7th, 2003
…a beautiful girl walked into my life…with eyes sparkling green and a hint of brown, a smile to melt the iciest glaciers, and a heart that can encompass so much love, it becomes unfathomable for me.
my princess walked into my life, and my fairy tale began…
********
honestly, i have no idea who reads this…but for anyone who does, i’ve got a girl…and she’s amazing. we have things to work out…but we’re equals…neither is superior…it’s a start…a fairly good one too and i’ve got my fingers and my toes crossed for all of this to work out…
steph
July 2nd, 2003
It’s amazing
How you can speak
Right to my heart
Without saying a word,
You can light up the dark
Try as I may
I could never explain
What I hear when
You don’t say a thing
The smile on your face
Lets me know
That you need me
There’s a truth
In your eyes
Saying you’ll never leave me
The touch of your hand says
You’ll catch me
Whenever I fall
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
All day long
I can hear people
Talking out loud
But when you hold me near
You drown out the crowd
(The crowd)
Try as they may
They can never define
What’s been said
Between your
Heart and mine
The smile on your face
Lets me know
That you need me
There’s a truth
In your eyes
Saying you’ll never leave me
The touch of your hand says
You’ll catch me
Whenever I fall
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
*********
*sigh*…my princess…
July 1st, 2003
just a quick entry…one of dem days…one of dem weeks…everything is great and everything is fuct. oh well…will explain all later…did write something though…a few days ago…
so, i’m now onto the 4 papers and a final…finished the presentation tonight…went pretty okay…hopefully we did well…and now onto what i wrote…
Cries of rage
Tears of anger
Fury of scorn
Defeat of battles lost
Thoughts unmentionable
Innuendo unperceivable
I want you
But I can’t have you
Yet.
don’t ask…my muse visited me…
steph