You… OFF MY PLANET!

the love of parents…

January 6th, 2003

one of these days i will make my parents understand that i’m really not 5 anymore…i’m an adult, and i can make adult decisions. of course, until that happens, i should just suck my thumb, and soil my diapers or something. just very very frustrating.

nothing much else today…2003 started with the same shit as 2002, the damn train was late…was as crowded as ever…and some dude gave me an evil glare because my coat was over the middle divide of the train seat…little bitch of a man…arrrgh.

i wish i had the answers to life…almost feel like i should…and sometimes the answers seem to be right within reach. if i just looked a bit harder, concentrated a little more…then i can see it, i can grasp it. but it always eludes me, as if it’s taunting me…dangling the carrot in front of the beast…so i go on…always thinking tomorrow will get better…but it doesn’t seem to. there’s bright spots, mind you, but on the whole, it’s never really better. i think i need to get the hell out of this right now…for my sanity, for my mental well being, i need to get out. once i do…i’m never asking them for anything again…they’ve more than taught me…asking my parents for help, is only inviting pain.

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3 Responses to “the love of parents…”

Diana Says:

It’s laughable that I give anyone advice, but here’s the thing, you can’t let it change who you are. That’s the real power struggle. Take it from the chick who broke her hand because of parental insanity…me losing my temper didn’t change anything. Me staying true to myself…to me, is worth everything.

I remember being alone in the ER and sneaking progress calls to you on my cell when the nurse wasn’t looking. Can the love of a friend replace that of a parent? Certainly not, but it makes a difference. And that’s what I remind myself of when I’m about to blow my top over something stupid.

So if it makes any difference in your world, your friend Diana loves you just as you are.

January 6th, 2003 at 11:04 pm

thebigbanana Says:

i vote very much for just likeing the steph the way she is..infact, i have decided to squish anyone who doesnt..even the parents.*waves fist* u just wait until i get there! I am serious though..me and the parents are going to have more then a few “issues” to talk about.(very serious banana here) I am sorry CB..you know i would take it all away from you if i could, to simply make u smile..(are u smileing?)

Banana Queen (can we make cars out of banana/glow in the dark cars?)

January 8th, 2003 at 4:56 pm

thebigbanana Says:

Banana Queen (can we make cars out of banana/glow in the dark stuff?)

January 8th, 2003 at 4:57 pm