Hiding in the tangled web of life, in a shell, never facing reality. My body racked with tremors and I curl up, hugging myself, protecting myself from some unknown element, unknown enemy. I shut my eyes, futile to keep out all my demons. They eventually find me, ravage me, and leave me just an empty shell of who I used to be. I am filled with such a profound sense of loss, of being nothing, having nothing. I’m filled with desperation, seeking what I have lost.

Pain shoots through my body, pain of no name, no origin. I hold myself tighter, hoping to block it out, lock it all out. But I can’t. I cringe as the pain runs its course. Then as quickly as it came, it left. I’m left exhausted, devoid of emotions, personality, everything.

I know now I’ve nothing and never will be anything. Reality will eventually set it, and I will finally see it for what it is.

 

...sigh...